Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to…
Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to…
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Seasons (12)
Season 1
22 Sep 2003 – 24 May 2004 · 24 episodes
1Pilot22 Sep 2003
2Big Flappy Bastards29 Sep 2003
3Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell6 Oct 2003
4If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap13 Oct 2003
5The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump20 Oct 2003
6Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?27 Oct 2003
7If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake3 Nov 2003
8Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful10 Nov 2003
9Phase One, Complete17 Nov 2003
10Merry Thanksgiving24 Nov 2003
11Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor15 Dec 2003
12Camel Filters + Pheromones5 Jan 2004
13Sarah Like Puny Alan12 Jan 2004
14I Can't Afford Hyenas2 Feb 2004
15Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)9 Feb 2004
16That Was Saliva, Alan (2)16 Feb 2004
17Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats23 Feb 2004
18An Old Flame with a New Wick1 Mar 2004
19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You22 Mar 2004
20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark19 Apr 2004
21No Sniffing, No Wowing3 May 2004
22My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet10 May 2004
23Just Like Buffalo17 May 2004
24Can You Feel My Finger?24 May 2004
Season 2
20 Sep 2004 – 23 May 2005 · 24 episodes
1Back Off, Mary Poppins20 Sep 2004
2Enjoy Those Garlic Balls27 Sep 2004
3A Bag Full of Jawea4 Oct 2004
4Go Get Mommy's Bra11 Oct 2004
5Bad News from the Clinic?18 Oct 2004
6The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance25 Oct 2004
7A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana8 Nov 2004
8Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers15 Nov 2004
9Yes, Monsignor22 Nov 2004
10The Salmon Under My Sweater29 Nov 2004
11Last Chance to See Those Tattoos13 Dec 2004
12A Lung Full of Alan3 Jan 2005
13Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow17 Jan 2005
14Those Big Pink Things with Coconuts31 Jan 2005
15Smell the Umbrella Stand7 Feb 2005
16Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?14 Feb 2005
17Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!21 Feb 2005
18It was 'Mame,' Mom7 Mar 2005
19A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise21 Mar 2005
20I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey18 Apr 2005
21A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On2 May 2005
22That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother9 May 2005
23Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab16 May 2005
24Does This Smell Funny to You?23 May 2005
Season 3
19 Sep 2005 – 22 May 2006 · 24 episodes
1Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts19 Sep 2005
2Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover26 Sep 2005
3Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark3 Oct 2005
4Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs10 Oct 2005
5We Called It Mr. Pinky17 Oct 2005
6Hi, Mr. Horned One24 Oct 2005
7Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop7 Nov 2005
8That Voodoo That I Do Do14 Nov 2005
9Madame and Her Special Friend21 Nov 2005
10Something Salted and Twisted28 Nov 2005
11Santa's Village of the Damned19 Dec 2005
12That Special Tug9 Jan 2006
13Humiliation Is a Visual Medium23 Jan 2006
14Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded6 Feb 2006
15My Tongue Is Meat27 Feb 2006
16Ergo, the Booty Call6 Mar 2006
17The Unfortunate Little Schnauser13 Mar 2006
18The Spit-Covered Cobbler20 Mar 2006
19Golly Moses, She's a Muffin10 Apr 2006
20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro24 Apr 2006
21And the Plot Moistens1 May 2006
22Just Once with Aunt Sophie8 May 2006
23Arguments for the Quickie15 May 2006
24That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite22 May 2006
Season 4
18 Sep 2006 – 14 May 2007 · 24 episodes
1Working for Caligula18 Sep 2006
2Who's Vod Kanockers?25 Sep 2006
3The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress2 Oct 2006
4A Pot Smoking Monkey9 Oct 2006
5A Live Woman of Proven Fertility16 Oct 2006
6Apologies for the Frivolity23 Oct 2006
7Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head6 Nov 2006
8Release the Dogs13 Nov 2006
9Corey's Been Dead for an Hour20 Nov 2006
10Kissing Abraham Lincoln27 Nov 2006
11Walnuts and Demerol11 Dec 2006
12Castrating Sheep in Montana8 Jan 2007
13Don't Worry, Speed Racer22 Jan 2007
14That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami5 Feb 2007
15My Damn Stalker12 Feb 2007
16Young People Have Phlegm Too19 Feb 2007
17I Merely Slept with a Commie26 Feb 2007
18It Never Rains in Hooterville19 Mar 2007
19Smooth As a Ken Doll9 Apr 2007
20Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot16 Apr 2007
21Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous23 Apr 2007
22Mr. McGlue's Feedbag30 Apr 2007
23Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin7 May 2007
24Prostitutes and Gelato14 May 2007
Season 5
24 Sep 2007 – 19 May 2008 · 19 episodes
1Large Birds, Spiders and Mom24 Sep 2007
2Media Room Slash Dungeon1 Oct 2007
3Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo8 Oct 2007
4City of Great Racks15 Oct 2007
5Putting Swim Fins on a Cat22 Oct 2007
6Help Daddy Find His Toenail29 Oct 2007
7Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room5 Nov 2007
8Is There a Mrs. Waffles?12 Nov 2007
9Tight's Good19 Nov 2007
10Kinda Like Necrophilia26 Nov 2007
11Meander to Your Dander17 Mar 2008
12A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh24 Mar 2008
13The Soil Is Moist31 Mar 2008
14Winky-Dink Time14 Apr 2008
15Rough Night in Hump Junction21 Apr 2008
16Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty28 Apr 2008
17Fish in a Drawer5 May 2008
18If My Hole Could Talk12 May 2008
19Waiting for the Right Snapper19 May 2008
Season 6
22 Sep 2008 – 18 May 2009 · 24 episodes
1Taterhead Is Our Love Child22 Sep 2008
2Pie Hole, Herb29 Sep 2008
3Damn You, Eggs Benedict6 Oct 2008
4The Flavin' and the Mavin'13 Oct 2008
5A Jock Strap in Hell20 Oct 2008
6It's Always Nazi Week3 Nov 2008
7Best H.O. Money Can Buy10 Nov 2008
8Pinocchio's Mouth17 Nov 2008
9The Mooch at the Boo24 Nov 2008
10He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited8 Dec 2008
11The Devil's Lube15 Dec 2008
12Thank God for Scoliosis12 Jan 2009
13I Think You Offended Don19 Jan 2009
14David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie2 Feb 2009
15I'd Like to Start with the Cat9 Feb 2009
16She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime2 Mar 2009
17The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?9 Mar 2009
18My Son's Enormous Head16 Mar 2009
19The Two Finger Rule30 Mar 2009
20Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau13 Apr 2009
21Above Exalted Cyclops27 Apr 2009
22Sir Lancelot's Litter Box4 May 2009
23Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth11 May 2009
24Baseball with Better Steroids18 May 2009
Season 7
21 Sep 2009 – 24 May 2010 · 22 episodes
1818-jklpuzo21 Sep 2009
2Whipped Unto the Third Generation28 Sep 2009
3Mmm, Fish. Yum.5 Oct 2009
4Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator12 Oct 2009
5For the Sake of the Child19 Oct 2009
6Give Me Your Thumb2 Nov 2009
7Untainted by Filth9 Nov 2009
8Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.16 Nov 2009
9Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair23 Nov 2009
10That's Why They Call It Ball Room7 Dec 2009
11Warning, It's Dirty14 Dec 2009
12Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste11 Jan 2010
13Yay, No Polyps!18 Jan 2010
14Crude and Uncalled For1 Feb 2010
15Aye, Aye, Captain8 Feb 2010
16Tinkle Like a Princess1 Mar 2010
17I Found Your Moustache8 Mar 2010
18Ixnay on the Oggie Day22 Mar 2010
19Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave12 Apr 2010
20I Called Him Magoo10 May 2010
21Gumby with a Pokey17 May 2010
22This Is Not Gonna End Well24 May 2010
Season 8
20 Sep 2010 – 14 Feb 2011 · 16 episodes
1Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud20 Sep 2010
2A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer27 Sep 2010
3A Pudding-Filled Cactus4 Oct 2010
4Hookers, Hookers, Hookers11 Oct 2010
5The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel18 Oct 2010
6Twanging Your Magic Clanger25 Oct 2010
7The Crazy Bitch Gazette1 Nov 2010
8Springtime on a Stick8 Nov 2010
9A Good Time in Central Africa15 Nov 2010
10Ow, Ow, Don't Stop22 Nov 2010
11Dead from the Waist Down6 Dec 2010
12Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead13 Dec 2010
13Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup3 Jan 2011
14Lookin' for Japanese Subs17 Jan 2011
15Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak7 Feb 2011
16That Darn Priest14 Feb 2011
Season 9
19 Sep 2011 – 14 May 2012 · 24 episodes
1Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt19 Sep 2011
2People Who Love Peepholes26 Sep 2011
3Big Girls Don't Throw Food3 Oct 2011
4Nine Magic Fingers10 Oct 2011
5A Giant Cat Holding a Churro17 Oct 2011
6The Squat and the Hover24 Oct 2011
7Those Fancy Japanese Toilets31 Oct 2011
8Thank You for the Intercourse7 Nov 2011
9Frodo's Headshots14 Nov 2011
10A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes21 Nov 2011
11What a Lovely Landing Strip5 Dec 2011
12One False Move, Zimbabwe!12 Dec 2011
13Slowly and in a Circular Fashion2 Jan 2012
14A Possum on Chemo16 Jan 2012
15The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack6 Feb 2012
16Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy13 Feb 2012
17Not in My Mouth!20 Feb 2012
18The War Against Gingivitis27 Feb 2012
19Palmdale, Ech19 Mar 2012
20Grandma's Pie9 Apr 2012
21Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'16 Apr 2012
22Why We Gave Up Women30 Apr 2012
23The Straw in My Donut Hole7 May 2012
24Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!14 May 2012
Season 10
27 Sep 2012 – 9 May 2013 · 23 episodes
1I Changed My Mind About the Milk27 Sep 2012
2A Big Bag of Dog4 Oct 2012
3Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt11 Oct 2012
4You Do Know What the Lollipop's For18 Oct 2012
5That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam25 Oct 2012
6Ferrets, Attack!1 Nov 2012
7Avoid the Chinese Mustard8 Nov 2012
8Something My Gynecologist Said15 Nov 2012
9I Scream When I Pee29 Nov 2012
10One Nut Johnson6 Dec 2012
11Give Santa a Tail-Hole13 Dec 2012
12Welcome to Alancrest3 Jan 2013
13Grab a Feather and Get in Line10 Jan 2013
14Run, Steven Staven! Run!31 Jan 2013
15Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It7 Feb 2013
16Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby14 Feb 2013
17Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries21 Feb 2013
18The 9:04 from Pemberton7 Mar 2013
19Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon14 Mar 2013
20Bazinga! That's from a TV Show4 Apr 2013
21Another Night with Neil Diamond25 Apr 2013
22My Bodacious Vidalia2 May 2013
23Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped9 May 2013
Season 11
26 Sep 2013 – 8 May 2014 · 22 episodes
1Nangnangnangnang26 Sep 2013
2I Think I Banged Lucille Ball3 Oct 2013
3This Unblessed Biscuit10 Oct 2013
4Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank17 Oct 2013
5Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 200324 Oct 2013
6Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants7 Nov 2013
7Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie14 Nov 2013
8Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.21 Nov 2013
9Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer5 Dec 2013
10On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!12 Dec 2013